The Communication Secret: An Unfair Advantage for Visionary Leaders

“This is high stakes. A big win or crashing and burning,” my client, Nicholas, said. “I’m going to be interviewed with two other leaders on a podcast.”

“With three of you there, one of you is going to be disappointed,” I said. “Let’s make sure that it is not you. That’s what our session will be about.”

I began with this point:

The Communication Secret is: If you talk with people in an effective way, you get to keep great people.

This applied to Nicholas’ podcast appearance because he wanted to keep the host, viewers, and other guests on his side.

Spoken Word Strategist Tom Marcoux shares communication secrets with an audience at the Corporate Innovation Summit, Thailand.

I call this an Unfair Advantage for Visionary Leaders because it ties into something I wrote in my book, Convince Investors to Fund You. In that book, I note that a Big Idea that seizes the attention of investors includes three elements:

· Unfair Advantage
· Disruption
· Big Profits

The effective leader has the “unfair” advantage of attracting and keeping the best people because the leader inspires loyalty, creativity, and innovation.

The techniques of “3 A’s” disrupt usual sloppy communication habits.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” — George Bernard Shaw

The effective Visionary Leader has a vision of effective communication so that people pull together and excel beyond their first imaginings.

Hold a vision of communicating so people know you’re listening, caring, and empowering them.

Here are the elements of The Communication Secret with 3 A’s.

· Agree
· And
· Add

1. Agree

When people ask for feedback, many times what they really want is agreement.

Get the person on your side if possible. How? Find something that you can sincerely agree with.

You can say, “I agree that A-B-C is important.”

Here’s a related technique. When someone asks for feedback, I do not jump in quickly with my own preferences. Instead, I ask, “Is there some area that you’re concerned about?” If the person mentions something, I have a roadmap to reply with something relevant to them. This can move a project forward.

2. And

Learn the power of “And.” Even if you disagree with someone, you can say, “And” while adding to the conversation. You avoid turning the person off. How? Drop the word “but.” (Get the but out of there.) Instead, say, “And…”

Here’s an example: “Anita, I hear you. Rapport is important. And, I’ve seen with clients that it’s important to focus on ….”

While directing feature films, I learned to listen well to the department leaders and actors. “And” was a helpful word. I also said, “Are we missing an opportunity here?” Then, I would listen to the person first.

Tom Marcoux practiced listening and leadership skills while directing feature films and videos.

3. Add

Here’s an example: “I hear you, Helen. And I’d like to add…”

If you’re leading a meeting, you can say, “And I’m going to add…” This brings an energy of certainty.

When you add your comment, you could provide new material — even material that disagrees with the previous speaker.

The “add” technique allows you to turn the conversation in your direction. You avoid directly stepping on the other person’s comment with the troublesome words “but” and “however.”

Instead, you acknowledge the other person and how they aimed to contribute to the conversation.

Remember…

The Communication Secret is: If you talk with people in an effective way, you get to keep great people.

Use The Communication Secret with 3 A’s.

· Agree
· And
· Add

Visionary Leaders succeed with excellent communication skills. They hold the vision when others cannot see it. They encourage, coach, and empower team members.

The Big Idea for effective Visionary Leaders is to disrupt their own sloppy communication habits. They install the actions that ensure people know they’re listening, caring, and showing up for them.

May you discover new oppportunities every day.

Call to Action

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This article originally appeared at GetTheBigYES.com